swaggersbacktotheimpala:

engage-with-zorp:

sideb00b:

My best friend (who works at State Farm) just called me, so excited, saying she met a cute boy at work, whose name is Jake. She likes Jake from State Farm.

She sounds hideous.

Well she’s a guy so

poppet-prince:

poppet-prince:

I find that squeezing balls really helps my anxiety

You know I could have worded this a lot better huh

pleasestopbeingsad:

things life is too short for:
- hating yourself
- pretending to laugh at “jokes” that are actually just bigoted statements
- not singing along to your favorite songs
- waiting hours to text someone back just to look cool
- bad coffee
- bad books
- mean people
- body shaming
- letting other people dictate your life
- larry’s storyline

thespacegoat:

remember a few years ago when the parody account MorgonFreeman made this post

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and now to this day people still think he said it

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that’s my favorite thing to ever happen on the entire intenet

cockringtoss:

hearing teachers swear keeps me young